do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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