I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
