is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize