lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My vagina is very pro this idea
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