There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
