the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Randomize
