is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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