my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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