i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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