69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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