It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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