Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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