google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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