Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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