How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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