Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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