I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
