It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
