Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
