Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
