Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
