Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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