reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
