thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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