We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
