question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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