I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
