YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
