let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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