what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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