I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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