Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
