This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
my god I love twenty year old dicks
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
