Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
