just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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