i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"