I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
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I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
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Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete