lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."