She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
