the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
