Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
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One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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