She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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