I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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