idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
