Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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