I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
