STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
