dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
