# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
