I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
youre lurking in front of me
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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