Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wish I could teleport
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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