I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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