So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
