tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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