So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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