Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
