im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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