so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
