I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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