Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The pigeons can smell the fear
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her