come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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