garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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