He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
